I never liked children. 

I always thought their obsessive crying and tantrums were irritating. I knew they were too young to know any better so I tried my best to not hold it against them, but the things they did made me question their immortal innocence. The whining, the destructive behavior, the screaming, the drawing on walls, I even remember one of my cousins drawing over a painting I made when I was little. I had it hanging on my wall and when I came back from school it was unrecognizable. He was 7.  I cried for hours that day and didn’t draw again for years. They drive people to madness and make life unbearable day after day, year after year.

They are monsters in my eyes.

But, they’re also the weakest in our society, if you believe that. 

I for one do not, not after today.

It sounds unbelievable but I’m serious, if you experienced what I did, you would be convinced of their strength too. See it started out simple, nothing out of the ordinary, just a chat with my uncle while he held his grand-daughter. She was staring at me. I choked it up to childish curiosity since children often stare at things at random but after a while she didn’t stop. I was annoyed and started thinking to myself:

God why are they always staring? it’s so off putting.

While keeping a smile on my face. Her head twisted in confusion and that’s when I heard it, a small ringing in my ear. I shook my head lightly, thinking I was just getting a headache. The next time the ringing came was when I started laughing at a joke my uncle made that I did not find funny; the ringing was louder this time though, almost deafening. I winced and looked at the girl as my uncle kept talking. She was still looking right at me. I stared back and she reached out, or more like she pointed, as a deep voice settled in my brain:

“WHY ARE YOU LYING?”

I was bewildered and frozen, so she spoke again

“WHY ARE YOU LYING?”

“I- i”

My uncle noticed that I had not been responding and asked if I was ok. I didn’t reply so he followed my gaze

“Oh, here wanna hold her?”

He pushed that thing into my arms and she pulled me forward by my collar

“WHY?” She repeated “WHY ARE YOU LYING!?”

I shoved her back as I screamed for her to let me go. My uncle grabbed her as we struggled to free me from her grip. When I was free I ran away, straight to my room i went. And with my door locked I’m writing this, the truth.

I never disliked children, I was scared of them.

Deep inside I knew they were the only ones who could see me, the real me. Children had a way of cracking my mask with a glance, and I never liked them for that. For showing me the truth.

That I am the monster I pretended them to be.