I couldn’t believe that she was parenting now, out of all times! It was phenomenal how well she went from delusional drunk to overprotective parent. I was so annoyed that I barely registered Slicks voice as he spoke.

“I can dr-“

“I raised you! You ungrateful brat! I dealt with your tantrums and shitty diapers, I DID THAT!”

I looked up and laughed, the fucking Audacity, raised me? For real?

“I was a child! As soon as I was old enough to know how to use the microwave, you were GONE, you fucking bitch! Raised me?? When?! How?! You weren’t there!”

The neighbors had come out, the street full of nosy adults and scared children.

“Slick was! Keisha, Casey, them! Not you! you- were drinking the town away!”

I counted the names on my fingers before I moved slicks hand that laid in between us and gave him a serious warning to get out of the way. He sighed and retreated to the sidewalk, watching closely but not intervening.

“I did my best you-!”

She shoved me and pointed a finger in my face, pushing me back, angry, angrier than I had ever seen her, but not angrier than me.

“You were horrible! I loved you! I went through 9 months of pain and inconvenience for you! So don’t! Dont you dare! tell me that I didn’t raise you! Baby formula, late night lullabies, that was me!”

I pushed her back and yelled my response, she was not getting away with this ‘I sacrificed for you’ bullshit.

“Oh was it mom?” I shoved her back towards the car and onto the driveway “Then where were you for my middle school graduation? If you did so fucking much then whats my favorite food? My favorite color?”

I shoved her again and this time she hit the side of the jeep with a hard thud.

“Homecoming? Parent teacher nights? Who was the first boy to ever break my heart mom!?” I could feel her breathing on my cheek, she was shorter than me and in this moment I relished in it. “Where were you when Casey taught me how to ride a bike? Huh!? Unlike any other parent YOU WEREN’T THERE! You raised me when I was helpless, congratu-fucking-lations, but where were you when I could actually make memories with you? Where were you when I needed more?!”

“More? You needed more?! I gave you everything! You were a miserable kid, by 5th grade you had started skipping most of your classes!! Referral after referral, you were an annoying person to be around!!”

“I was a kid!”

“That doesn’t excuse it!”

I had no reply, I was heaving, I was furious, I was-sad. Tears stung my eyes, I didn’t want them to come, I wanted to be angry. She didn’t deserve my tears.

“You’re a horrible mothe-“

She slapped me, the neighbors gasped but It was barely audible over the sound of an engine pulling up, regardless, neither sound stopped me from slapping her back.

She grabbed my scalp and slapped me again as we started fist fighting. I punched her in the stomach and she heaved but didn’t let go of my hair so I grabbed hers and yanked. We pulled at each other for a second until we lost our balance and fell back into the grass. I was furious. I kicked and screamed and clawed as she sat on top of me screaming back about how “good” she was. Soon she was punching me in the face while holding one of my hands down. She punched me so hard that I ended up losing one of my wisdom teeth. But that’s in the future.

Back in the fight I got mad. I was humiliated and with a scowl i made a last resort. I made a fist out of my free hand and punched her in the nose as hard as I could from the compromising position. Her head tilted back from the force and her nose started bleeding onto me. I thought she would loosen her grip but instead in retaliation she grabbed my head and slammed it into the ground. She did it twice before I pushed my hips up and made her lose her balance. She fell sideways as someone was screaming behind us to stop, I didn’t though, after all she said to me, to just let it go would’ve been too nice, she was going to pay for it.

I got up fast and started kicking her while yelling that she was a a fucking liar. She laid on the ground, guarding her stomach to little avail. Her arms were clearly slipping and she was starting to feel the kicks in her abdomen, but I didn’t have a chance to take advantage of this because someone was pulling me back. It was our neighbor, casey, from across the street who had just pulled up with her husband jonathon.

“What are you guys doing?!”

I ignored her and spit some of the blood pooling in my mouth on the ground next to my mom

“I hope you rot in hell!!”

She got up and tried to slap me again before jonathon pulled her back by her arm,

“You’re a miserable girl! No one will be able to stand you like I did! Watch! You will be alone and no one will be there because you’ve driven everyone away!”

Casey spoke up from behind me, my vision blurring

“Don’t say that Dom! This is your little girl!”

“I KNOW! For fucks sake I can see that!- UGH”

My mom groaned in frustrated annoyance as she walked away from us, jonathon following her from a distance. Casey let me go too and grabbed my face to wipe my moms blood off my chin. I snatched my head back from her tantalizing grip and repeated with heavy breaths that I was fine. Unfortunately though, My mom was soon back in front of me. She stood a few steps away, fists loose and shoulders slumped as she looked angrily at the ground. She was still furious, but not at me, I don’t think it was ever at me.

“I-I tried. It was just so hard. Parenting wasn’t what I thought it would be.”

She was crying as hard as I was.

“I tried changing your schools, getting you better classmates and teachers. I talked to councilors I even attempted homeschooling, talk therapy, rewards. No matter what I did, they would still stare and whisper, ‘what a bad mother’. I just wanted to do good by you, but it was never enough. I didn’t know how to do it anymore. The crying got to me, the constant mommy this mommy that and the tantrums. I felt so bad. I didn’t know how to please you. Everyday you were angry with me, everyday you hated me. I took it hard and I ran away before I could get hurt more. I just- I wasn’t made for this. I wasn’t meant to be a mom.”

Slick came up behind me and laid his leather jacket on my trembling shoulders, I wasn’t cold, but it made me a bit warmer.

“And I wasn’t meant to be a daughter.”

She looked at me, so much regret staining her features.

“You have to believe me, I never hated you.”

Her voice cracked under the pressure of rotting words, mine did too.

“But did you like me?”

Her mouth opened but she had nothing to say. She went back and forth, trying to speak then giving up, it was fine, I got the message.

“Thought so.”

She choked on her sobs as I turned from her. Dropping to her knees, she chanted like a crazy woman.

“I’m sorry I’m so sorry please forgive me-“

I gave slick the car keys and he nodded, opening the back door and giving me time to get in. Knowing me too well to ask where I wanted to go, he just quickly got in the driver’s seat and watched for the crowd while he backed up. I gave my mom a last glance as she trembled on the concrete, still saying her prayers as Casey tried to help her up.

“Im sorry, im so sorry oh my little girl what have i done-“

We were too far down the street for me to hear more.