Flowers bloomed on the edge of my grave. Sprouting out every lie and treachery i ever committed. If the grave robber knew what i had done with my life im sure he would’ve ran away and found a tool so he could cut his hands off for just the essence of me on him would’ve made him sick. But the grave robber wasn’t a medium and he took every jewel i was buried with. I wished he had left the bracelet, it was my grandmothers and going to hell without it seemed like another sin on my list. I knew she was there and without returning it my fate was sealed, with the heirloom gone i had finally, truly, fucked up. 

So, I sat on my headstone, with its grainy texture and unsightly shape, and I waited. When death calls what else can you do. He was pulling me down and i could feel myself resisting. I wanted to see him for some reason. And it didnt take long for him to appear, draped in clingy souls that he shook away. He was tall, face shrouded in a unpenatrable darkness and his long scythe hovering above the coat which covered him from top to bottom. We watched each other until i asked him what was next, he didnt respond. I know I didnt do right by a lot of people, I said, I know I ran through life with a knife in my hand and I was everywhere I didnt need to be and-and I hit my mother, she was evil but she was my mother I should’ve did better. I know that. I-

I got frightened from his staring and stopped rambling, but it felt like he knew something else was on my mind. I let the tears I was holding back fall as I said my peace, my voice not faltering.

I know I wasn’t a good person, I admitted, and im ready to pay for that.

He stayed there a second longer, then he came over, and with careful mannerisms he sat on my headstone with me. The coat hanging down my now empty grave, and after sticking his staff in the soil, he held out his hand. It was like his face, a shadow of a hand instead of the real thing, but i lifted my palm to meet his anyway. Still scared, i held his hand lightly and looked into the shadow of his hood. Inside i saw a shape and stared until the shape was no longer blurry, thats when i recognized that it was a star, and there were hundreds of them. I watched them and the colorful universes slowly coming into view around them, but as soon as i blinked it was all gone, and death stood, bringing me to stand with him. I didnt even ask because i knew he wouldn’t answer, so, confused i just followed the scythe with my eyes. It moved up as if to stand with us but instead of standing it cut into the edges of my open grave. I watched as a world flowed like water into the hole, the first thing it showed was a baby, still born, and with that same look, death turned to me. I was getting better at reading him and stepped back. I don’t deserve this, you know how badly I did last time!

He didn’t care about last time, I could feel it. But, I started, but he was already pointing to the hole. I gulped and he extended his hand again. I took it and held on tighter as I went back to my spot next to him. Then the nurse in the portal spoke as she rubbed the baby’s belly, trying to heat it up. You can do this, she said, I saw you before, you were trying so hard, just try one more time love I promise there’s something for you here. I wanted to cry again as I looked back into the face of death, once again seeing the life in him. 2 sides of the same coin, I told myself, life and death. I sighed and stepped into the vision. It whirled around me as I sunk deeper, death holding my hand as i resisted the urge to get out. He didnt let go until only my face remained, and before i sank fully, he nodded and slowly turned away. I closed my eyes and pleaded with him silently. Please, I said as my body lowered into the abyss, let me be worth something this time.

this idea wouldn’t leave my head so I had to draw it out😭